Over the past few weeks, my once-reliable washing machine has transformed into a source of unending anxiety. Unexpectedly, each laundry load has ended with my clothes dyed in random colors. At first, I blamed myself, wondering if I had mistakenly changed my washing habits. In an attempt to fix what I thought was my error, I invested in everything from new detergent pods and color catchers to whitening powder and washing machine cleaner. But nothing has thus far resolved the issue.
I've spent days crying over this, and I realise some might not understand why this affects me so deeply. This issue brought to mind a campaign that is probably my favourite ever created, Vanish's Me, My Autism, and I, which resonates deeply with me.
For many autistic individuals, including myself, clothes are more than fabric - they are a vital part of our sensory regulation and emotional stability. They act as a safety blanket in a world that often feels unpredictable and overwhelming. According to Vanish, 70% of autistic people believe their lives would improve if others knew how important clothes were to them.
Clothes are my armor against the daily uncertainties. So, when my washing machine malfunctions and ruins my carefully chosen clothes, it’s not merely an inconvenience. It’s a profound disruption to my emotional balance and sensory comfort. This isn’t just about laundry; it’s about maintaining stability in a world that often feels overwhelmingly chaotic.